Have you ever glanced at a seemingly mundane object and found yourself clueless about its purpose? I find those moments fascinating. Just today, I learned what the little hole at the bottom of the airplane window is for. Turns out, it serves a dual function. Firstly, it helps equalize air pressure during altitude changes, and secondly, it prevents window fogging. I had no clue. 

I recently discovered the function of the black grating on the microwave door. Contrary to my assumption that it’s merely decorative, it’s actually known as a Faraday shield. Its role is crucial in preventing microwaves from escaping and ensuring even cooking of your food. Who knew?

Perhaps you were already aware of the purpose behind the hole in the airplane window and the back grating on a microwave, but I only discovered their functions as an adult.

However, I believe you’d acknowledge that there are numerous everyday items whose purposes you didn’t grasp until you reached a certain age. Consider the hole at the top of a pen cap (so you can breathe if you swallow it) or why some clothes include an additional piece of fabric (to test fabric cleaners before you put it on the shirt). And what about the hole in a spaghetti spoon (to measure out one serving of dry spaghetti)?

Knowing something’s purpose is vital. The risk we run is that when we do not know the true purpose of something, we miss how to best interact with it. 

As a parent, I think this is also true of our children. Why did you have kids or want to have kids? What drives the desire to be a parent? At the foundation, what is the purpose of children?

In a 2022 Harris Poll investigating the increasing trend of childlessness among American adults, the main reasons given for this choice were personal autonomy and financial concerns. Many individuals voiced worries that having children would curtail their freedom, constraining their capacity to pursue personal interests and activities at their own pace. Moreover, the substantial financial obligations linked with raising children were cited as daunting, with childcare expenses and overall upbringing costs playing pivotal roles in the decision of whether or not to have children.

While children do limit our personal freedom and are not cheap to raise, this perspective reveals a deep flaw in our thinking. It is crucial that when we begin to think about children, we must reason from a biblical perspective. 

Let me be clear. Parenthood is the toughest challenge I’ve ever faced. If you’re not a parent yet, I won’t sugarcoat it. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. Having kids is hard; they don’t always listen, they’re loud and expensive, and they can be downright gross. One minute, you’re relaxing on the couch, and the next thing you know, your five-year-old is wiping snot on your shirt. 

Yet, the mistake that we make so often is that when we think of children, we can easily view them as a disgusting burden on our freedom and finances. The problem is that this perspective is fundamentally opposed to what God says about children. 

Scripture is very clear that children are a gift from God. Psalm 127:3 tells us, “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” God views children as a gift, a gift that comes from Him. And we know “All good and perfect gifts come down from the Father of Lights” (James 1:17).  

Every good thing in my life is a gift from God. I have it because God has seen fit to give it to me. Among the best gifts are my three boys, Graham, Logan, and Knox. God does not view my boys as a burden. They are a gift. By letting my thoughts drift toward the unbiblical, I am thinking in direct opposition to the sovereign God of the universe who gave me my sons. 

I will be the first to admit I have not always thought about my children the way I ought. I get frustrated, and I allow my perspective to shift to the unbiblical, and it is a constant battle that must be fought.

So, why did He give us children? Yes, having children is in obedience to the command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). But I want us to think deeper. Have you ever really given it much thought? Why is God so concerned with us having children? He could have said, “If you want to have kids, great, but no worries if not.” But He didn’t; Rather, He commanded that we have children. Why? The answer goes back to the question at hand. What is the purpose of children?

This question is an important one. Understanding the purpose of something is vital to proper interaction. In his book Abandon the Ordinary, Dr. Richard Lytle tells the story of when he was coaching his son’s basketball team. Through the course of the game, it became clear that the official was not going to be using his whistle very much. The lack of control became so bad that some of the children began to get hurt. Finally, Dr. Lytle had had enough, and he began to have a discussion with the official. Dr. Lytle asked the official what was around his neck. Obviously, the official responded by saying, “A whistle.” Dr. Lytle said, “Consider the whistle’s purpose.”

As parents, we often fail to recognize the true purpose of our children, just like the official at the basketball game who failed to utilize the purpose of his whistle. By not considering the purpose of our children, we risk missing the point altogether. 

It is not uncommon to believe that the purpose of having children is to increase our capacity for love, to provide a deeper reason for existence, or simply as a means of ensuring the continuation of the human race. While these reasons are valid, they are not the primary purpose of children. We often overlook a far more significant reason that goes beyond any other purpose we may think of. 

The primary purpose of children is to grow and expand the Kingdom of God. That is the core reason why God gives us children, not just to continue the human race or increase our capacity to love. Children are the primary way through which we grow the Kingdom of God.

In Matthew 28:16-20 we have one of the most famous statements from Jesus, The Great Commission:

“Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” [ESV]

In this passage, Jesus commands us to make disciples of all people, baptize them, and teach them to obey. Sometimes, we may overlook the practicality of this passage because we focus too much on the word “nations.” While it’s important to have a global mindset, we shouldn’t forget the people that God has placed in our own homes. God doesn’t intend for us to neglect the discipleship of those closest to us for the sake of reaching out to the nations. The call to disciple begins with those closest to us and then expands to the nations.

We are commanded to make disciples of our children (Duet. 6:4-9; Psalm 78; Eph. 6:4). The reason behind this commandment is the same as the “Great Commission” – to expand the Kingdom of God. 

Shifting my understanding of the purpose of my children, that they are given to me to expand the Kingdom of God, changes everything. I now see my boys for who they truly are, not just my sons but as my brothers who need discipleship. Understanding that one day, we will stand next to each other in eternity, worshiping Jesus, not as father and sons, but as brothers who have been adopted into the family of God by His grace

By moving my focus from the secondary to the primary purpose, it changes everything about how we interact with our children. It creates an urgency for me to be intentional with my parenting, to discover ways to connect on a deeper level with my children, and to fulfill the calling God has given me to make disciples of my children. After all, one day, my sons will be called to make disciples themselves, and how will they do that if I do not first disciple them? 

As parents, we mustn’t overlook the primary purpose of our children. God has entrusted us with the responsibility of raising them so that they may become strong disciples of Christ and contribute to the growth of His Kingdom. We must never forget the crucial role our children play in fulfilling God’s plan and the immense responsibility we have been given to guide them toward it.