So often in our society, we dismiss various people groups. One of these people groups that we dismiss and treat with an attitude of “be seen and not heard” are children. Growing up in the church, this was, unfortunately, the norm rather than the exception. This is not an indictment on the church but is a societal problem as a whole. Children are not merely the future; they are here now, and it will benefit us to listen to what they have to say.  

I have to be honest before I had children; I often had this attitude toward children. What could I possibly learn from someone who is so much younger than I am? Then I had my first son, Graham. I remember when I looked at him and for the first time, realized how much I could love another human being. As he began to grow, I wanted to know everything I could about him. Now that he is four years old, I am in a position to begin to have real conversations with him. This has only furthered my drive to know everything about him. I want to know what he likes, what he doesn’t, what his hopes and dreams are, and what motivates him.  

This desire to know everything about him has caused me to reevaluate myself. In my attempt to understand his innermost being, I have discovered how much I have to learn. You see, my little boy is not merely a child that I am raising, he is an image-bearer of God, and because of that, he has inherent value and worth. He is not someone who should be looked down upon because he is young. Even though I have the degrees and credentials, and he just mastered the art of eating without having macaroni on his forehead, there is much that I have learned from my son.

My son has taught me to see what is important 

As I have gotten older, I have become cynical. I naturally look at the negative in situations. My wife calls me a pessimist, but I prefer to be called a realist. It is not like I am “Debbie Downer” or something, I like to think that I’m a fun guy, but my natural inclination is to often look at the negative. It is not my most exceptional trait; it is something that I struggle with.

My son has taught me to see what is important as opposed to simply seeing the negative. Children have a fantastic sense of empathy; they know when you are struggling or when you are hurting. There have been many times that I have been stressed or anxious about something (usually it is something dumb) and the timing that my son has amazed me. Right before I am about to hit my limit, he will wrap his skinny arms around me and say, “Daddy, I love you.” My son has taught me that so often the things that cause me to get anxious and stressed about are not the essential things. What is important is that little boy (and his 11-month-old brother) and how I utilize the short time I have with them before they are out on their own.

What is truly important in life is not the size of my bank account or holding a position of power and authority (There is nothing wrong with money and power by the way). What my son has taught me is that what is truly important is my time, and how I use it. I choose to use it not pursuing a large bank account but investing in what is important, my sons. 

My son has taught me never to stop dreaming.

When we are kids, we dream all the time. We dream about what jobs we are going to have, hitting the game-winning shot, and getting the bad guys. But somewhere along the way reality hits us and we lose that desire to dream. It is easier for us to take a comfortable job and enjoy the security that comes with it. As adults, we lose the passion for dreaming, but our kids still have it.

My son has taught me never to stop dreaming. I love to hear about what my son wants to be when he grows up; it changes from day-to-day. For the last two months through his answer has been the same, SpiderMan. The other day he came up to me and said, “Someday I want to be a daddy, but after I’m SpiderMan. And I won’t need a car because I will have my webs!” My son dreams big, and this is a trait that I had lost. Yes, I had things that I wished for, but down deep, I thought they were not possible to achieve. My son does not have this problem. He thinks he really is going to be SpiderMan and good for him. Dream big little one, dream big. My son has taught me to dream big. 

My son has taught me to not worry so much about what others think.

We naturally care about how others perceive us. My son does not have this problem. A couple of weeks ago, I had to run to the store, and my son never misses a chance to go with dad to the store. As we were getting ready to leave, I told him to go upstairs and change his clothes. He came back down wearing a Micky Mouse shirt, a cape, and camo shorts. He finished off his ensemble with his blue rain boots. I told him that he could not wear that, and he needed to change. “Why?” He responded. “Because people will think you look silly.” The words he uttered next were simple and powerful, “I don’t care, I like it.”  

Graham did not care what people thought about him; I did. What would they think? What kind of parent lets their kid out in public dressed like that? It was completely a selfish response to his outfit. What I learned from my son that day was who cares what others think about you. There will always be people who criticize you, do not give their criticism any validity what so ever; if they are not building you up, cut them out. Graham felt confident in what he was wearing, and he went into the store like he owned the place. My son taught me that I am too concerned with what people think and how they perceive me. Sometimes we have to roll in with our Mickey capes and throw caution to the wind. 

My son has taught me never to grow tired of doing good.

What is Graham’s favorite pass-time? Getting the bad guys. He has a natural desire to fight for what is right and to defeat the bad guys. As I have grown, I like to say that I will fight the bad guys, but honestly, I worry about the risk. I am too concerned about what it could mean for me. Not my boy though, he is willing to get the bad guys whatever the cost. I remember watching a movie with him once, and it was the part where it looked like the bad guys might win. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Dad, I am going to kill those bad guys, so the good guys win.”

I pray he never loses that desire to fight for good, but the truth is, if I am honest, I would like to think that I would fight the bad guys too, but I am scared about what it might cost me. My son has taught me (or reminded me) that it doesn’t matter what the cost is, we fight. It is what good guys do! This is a trait that I hope continues to grow, and I thank God that he used a four-year-old to remind me. My son has taught me never to grow tired of doing good. 

My son has taught me more about my faith.

We all have faith in something; it is a fact of life. Even an atheist believes in something, themselves, science, something. And the main object of my young son’s faith is me, his daddy. He trusts me implicitly because he knows that his daddy loves him and will protect him no matter what. If I tell my son something, he believes it. I always chuckle when I hear him talking with his friends, and I listen to him say something like, “No, my daddy said this….” Like I am the final authority on everything (little does he know). Graham has placed his faith in me because he trusts me.

It is easy for me to say that I have faith, but it is much more difficult actually to live that out. My faith in God has ebbed and flowed throughout different times in my life. But the conviction that I feel when I see the faith of my son leaves me speechless. He makes me want to grow stronger in my faith daily. I pray that my faith in Christ will grow more and more, just like the faith my son has in me. May my faith in God resemble the faith of my son daily. My son has taught me more about my faith.  

When we take the mindset that children are there to be seen and not heard we not only doing a disservice to our children but ourselves. God has given our children to raise, but their inherent value is the same as you and I. They are image-bearers of Christ just the same and God will use them to teach us something new or remind us of something that we have forgotten. Watch and listen to your children; you might learn something. I know that I have!