When he went to school for the first time, he didn’t know what to expect. He was a homebody and loved the security that he felt from his family. The idea of leaving this security for eight hours a day was a nightmare to him. As time passed, you would have thought that school would have gotten easier for the boy, but it didn’t. He ended up in the nurse’s office every day during first grade; surely, this was the time that he would be able to fool his parents into letting him go home. To his disappointment, they knew he was faking his life-threatening illness.     As the boy moved through elementary, his hatred for school did not change, only the tactics he used to try to get out of it. But nothing worked. “How do my parents know,” he thought. The boy realized that there was no getting out of school, so he gritted his teeth and tried to get through it. 

Eventually, the boy moved into middle school, and he found that he loved playing basketball for the school, and he was pretty good. This changed his perspective on school. No, he didn’t like school, he still hated it, but it now became a means to an end. This attitude did not change as he moved through high school. School became a necessary evil by which he could play basketball. Studying was a distraction because he only needed to maintain his 70% to continue to play, and that was his goal, pass. To this boy, school was simply something that he had to endure to do what he loved.

The boy graduated and went on to college, but he still clung to the safety and security of his home and family. Eventually, after a grueling and painstaking time of what seemed like a decade, the boy went home. His dad met him at the door and exclaimed, “You didn’t even make it through orientation.” That’s right; what seemed like a decade was a week. That is all he could handle and decided that he was going home.

As the boy who hated school began to grow and mature. While taking classes at the local community college, he finally discovered what he loved more than basketball. He found a passion for other students who were like him. Understanding that he had wasted so much of his life on things that didn’t matter, he decided that he wanted to invest in other kids who were like him. He wanted to influence those students who saw school as a waste of time or a necessary evil. 

The boy eventually graduated from college with a degree in education, and he began to teach. After two years, he decided to continue his education and went on to receive his master and doctoral degrees in education. He wanted nothing more than to influence as many students as he could. 

If you haven’t guessed by now, I was the boy. I hated school and would do whatever I had to do to get out of it. There are so many students in classrooms who are just like I was. They do not value school and see it as a necessary evil. So how can their perspectives be changed? This is a question that we have to ask ourselves, and it is a question that I asked myself. How did I go from a boy who hated school to getting my Ed.D and become a career educator? I believe that there are many reasons why I am where I am today, here are three.

My Parents.

Probably the most important reason that I am where I am today is my parents. I am luckier than many students today. I had two parents who were there for me whenever I needed them. They provided a secure place that I did not want to leave. I had parents who would not let me settle for mediocrity. They pushed me and expected things of my siblings and me. They did not expect perfection, but they expected my best in everything. Unfortunately, I did not always meet those expectations.

We, as parents, need to push our kids, we need to have expectations. But above all else, love your kids. Do not merely, tell them you love them, that is great, but they need us to show them that we love them. Spend time with them, do homework with them, and listen to them. When our kids know that we love them, they are free to dream, knowing that they have the safety and support of their families. This is what I experienced. I always knew that I had the safety and security of parents, and ultimately, I knew that I could not fail. 

My Teachers.

The second reason that I am where I am today is that I had teachers who loved me. I have had a lot of teachers through my 25 years of formal education; some of them were good teachers who only cared about academics, and others were able to achieve the rare combination of academic rigor and relationship development. It is hard to find the balance between pushing students and also deliberately cultivating relationships with them. But, it is one that a few of my teachers were able to accomplish, and it made a massive impact on my life.

I once had a conversation with my choir teacher about a conflict between a concert and a basketball game. I specifically remember telling her that the only thing that I am good at is basketball and that she was taking that away from me. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me that I am settling myself short and that I am so much more than a basketball player. This astounded me. I recall feeling confused by the fact that she cared so much for me as a person, that it hurt when I belittled myself. She saw more in me than I ever saw in myself. I will never forget this.

It is teachers like this that got me to where I am today. Teachers who refuse to just teach their class, but they make it their mission to influence students in a positive way beyond the academic. You see, I had teachers who were great instructors, but none of them had nearly the influence on me as teachers who I felt loved me, and they showed me this love daily. This is the key, tell your students you love them, but more importantly, show them also every chance you get. 

Grades are not the Ultimate Identifier.

You are reading this, and you may be thinking that the role of parents and teachers are kind of obvious in a student being successful, and they are. They were essential for me too in cultivating a love of learning, but what also made a great impact on me was when I finally understood that grades were not the ultimate identifier of my intelligence. I believe that we in education place too high of an emphasis on grades. We have created an educational environment that tells students, either directly or indirectly, that if you did not receive a high grade, then you did not succeed. I am not advocating for the abolition of grades, they are important, and they serve a purpose, but they are not the only indicator of student learning. 

When I began to understand this, it radically changed my view on my education. I was in college algebra, and I was struggling. I remember going to my professor and telling him that I don’t know what to do; I was not going to do well. I remember him telling me that he has seen improvement in my work and all he can hope for out of his students is that they do their best and they do not quit. This was simple, but it was transformative.  

I know that for me, the classes that I have been the proudest of my work have been in classes where I didn’t get an A or even a B. They were usually math classes that I worked hard in and grew personally and academically. If you looked at the grades of others in the class, it could be easy to assume that they are better students, but the grades alone do not tell the whole story. I began to love learning when I understood that grades were not the be-all-end-all in learning. There is freedom in understanding this, and it exponentially grew my love of learning.

Learning to Love School.

So how did I go from hating school to loving school and becoming a career educator? Honestly, there are so many factors that I could identify as playing a role in my love of learning. However, my parents, teachers, and the understanding that grades are not the ultimate identifier of learning played considerable roles in developing my love of learning. If it were not for my parents, I would have quite a long time ago. My teachers instilled a desire for me to help other students who were like me, those who hate school. The understanding that learning cannot be measured by grades alone provided freedom which developed into a passion for learning, because if I improve a little every day, then I can’t fail.  

The boy who hated school became a career educator ultimately because of the influence of others. The love and support that I received from adults transformed my life, and it drives me to do the same for others.